Sorry about the long title. Whatever. I need to get this started. I have a paper to write.
#1: Whenever your family is eating, stay under the table to get every food scrap that falls down there. Especially if you have a preschooler in the family. They might feed you a piece of a pancake or something.
#2: I f you sleep in the comfiest bed in the house and you get kicked out of it, sneek in there the next night and snore as loud as you can as to drive them crazy. (Of course, they'll probably kick you out again, but at least you got some enjoyment out of it.)
#3: If someone is not petting you or scratching you and you want them to, walk back and forth under their foot if they are sitting down.
PS: These are all things my dog does daily.